Friday, April 20, 2007

Mythbust Kari Out of a Job





















FUCKING ANNOYING

The bitch you see before you is Kari Byron from the awesome show Mythbusters. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize what this show is about-it takes myths and urban legends and puts them to the test to see if there is any accuracy in the tale. It is run by two hosts by the names of Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman, both of whom boast an impressive resume of many years working with movie special effects. To help them out, Jamie and Adam have three co-hosts that help build the materials and formulate theories about how to test the myths. They are Grant Imahara, Tory Belleci, and regrettably, Kari Byron.

Grant and Tory are excellent co-hosts for the show due to their prowess with engineering and science. Grant was an electrical science major that went on to do some remarkable work for a movie special effects company called Industrial Light and Magic. While at this company he worked on movies such as Jurassic Park and the Star Wars prequels, the latter involving a fleet of R2 D2s. Grant also was involved with BattleBots, designing his own robot with an impeccable battle record. Not to be out shined, Tory Belleci also has done some credible work before being involved with Mythbusters. Like Grant, he also has backround in movie special effects, working at George Lucas' Industrial Light and Magic, with a resume including films like the Matrix, and some of the ships in the fleet of the Star Wars prequels. With these credentials, one may think that you would have to somewhat competent in the field of science and engineering to work on Mythbusters. Well, that is not the case...for we have Kari Byron.

Kari Byron has to be one of the most irritating people on television, and with the crap that we have on the channels these days that quite an accomplishment. To have a sweet job on mythbusters Kari's resume must include some proper credentials required to be on a science based reality show. The sad news is no, she does not have an impressive resume at all. She is a self proclaimed "artist", meaning that she has no job and has no capacity to do anything constructive. Also, what is this self-proclaimed bullshit? Just because you give yourself a title doesn't make it true. I can be a self-proclaimed astronaut, but that doesn't make me one. Just for the benefit of any doubt, I went searching to see if any of her art is online, just for the small chance she is accomplishing at least something. What i found was grotesque and will haunt my dreams.

I went to her web page, but could not save any of her artwork to include here, but I bid you to look at the web page yourself. http://www.karibyron.com/ Her "art" looks like something out of a Vincent Price movie. Art is Michelangelo's "David" or Jacques-Louis David's "Napoleon Crossing the Alps". Taking off parts of dolls and splicing them together in some obscene manner is not art, it's a cry for help. Her creations can scare little children, not to say 24 year old men for that matter. I've seen scrap book drawings from serial killers that look more sane and innocent. Vlad the Impaler called, he wants his children's toys back.

I wanted to find out if she has done anything while in college that warrants any resemblance of creativity or some intelligence, for I create better works of art in my toilet after All-You-Can-Eat Rib Night at the Painted Horse restaurant. Not surprisingly, I found nothing. She went to San Francisco State University and studied film and sculpture. Whoop te fucking do. To graduate from her major you need the intellect of dog shit. I took a film class in college, just to see how easy it was. All students had to do was watch movies in class and give their opinion about it. Anyone could pull bullshit out of their ass and the instructor would act like you had a plan for peace in the Middle East or re-invented Democracy. As for sculpting, all you had to do was make an ashtray and you got your degree. That is such bullshit. Any dumbass can do that shit. These film and sculpting students aren't the Platos and Da Vincis they think they are. Just because you got a degree from a university doesn't mean you earned it.

After gagging from the amount of horseshit spewing from her academic career, I went to see what job she got after college to make her worthy of a job at M5 (Jamie and Adam's workshop). My search came up with nothing. Literally. She did nothing. She went backpacking around south Asia. People who have no jobs and backpack around a country have a name, they are called hobos. If you went backpacking around the U.S. you'd be called a bum, just because you are doing it outside our country's boarders doesn't make it more noble. She should have saved her parent's money and not gone to Asia. She could have hopped the freight rails here, sharing beans with fellow hobos and it would have been the same thing. I wish I could have been a hobo after college, but then again I have dignity and a sense of responsibility and got a job.

Again, I was hit in the face with the fist of disbelief. I had to know why she was hired at M5. I doesn't make sense to me. I thought one had to have a thing called qualifications to have a job, and to have an incredible job like M5, they must be pretty damn impressive. I was wrong. Apparently all you have to do, with exceptions for Grant and Tory, is to be annoying as fuck. I know quote as to why she got the job:

"She became involved in the show after persistently showing up at Hyneman's M5 Industries workshop in a desire to get hired at his company."

That's right folks. She got the job by doing what girls to best, nagging the fuck out of someone until they get their desired results. Now, I wouldn't be as pissed about all this if she actually did anything for the show. She doesn't. All she does is run around and act like a fucking adolescent. The only work she does is building boxes and molds for ballistics gel. She doesn't add anything to the show at all, in fact, she takes away. Everything she says in the form of opinion was already stated earlier in the episode by another mythbuster member. She fucking takes them and makes them her own. I also hate the way she squeals like a five year old whenever she sees a dead animal. STOP! It's not cute, and it's not funny. She says she hates dead animals because she is a vegetarian. Big fucking surprise. Don't push your agenda on the show you fascist bitch. Each time I watch an episode of Mythbusters my eyes hurt from constantly rolling them at whatever awkward thing Kari says or does. She is so useless. I also hate the way she gives the verdict of whether or not a myth is busted. She says it in a way like she has absolute authority over the decision as if she did all theorizing and experiments herself. She didn't do a damn thing, besides make stupid jokes and get in the way of Tory and Grant who are trying to do their jobs.
Am I the only one that feels this way about Kari? I searched to find out. Horrifyingly, the only posts I see on the Internet is that they love her and want to keep her on the show. Not surprised, for we live in a society that, for a lack of a better word, sucks. It is interesting to see that the only reason people like her and want her on the show is because she is attractive. Yep, even science shows are casting inept people for the way they look. If I want eye candy, I'll go to another show, not mythbusters. All you assholes out there that want Kari on mythbusters because she is hot can gargle diarrhea. The show needs people with knowledge of engineering and science, not bubbly redheads that look and act like some one from a high school cheerleading squad. Mythbusters seriously needs to get rid of her. She is annoying, completely inept, and a horrible host. I vote to replace her with Mythtern Jess Nelson. She is not knock out gorgeous, but she is very cute and is not as annoying. Also to her credit, she majored in mechanical engineering, which blows terrible artist Kari out of the water. Kari needs to stop scaring people with her art, annoying people with her presence, and face reality and finally get a real job. After a few years of that we'll see if she earned the right to be back on Mythbusters.

25 comments:

  1. Haha hilarious, so true! Your not alone here!

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  2. You sound like a nerdy goof bum who never gets laid. Kari Byron is smoking hot....that is why she is on the show. When I see her sweet ass bouncing around, I don't have to wonder why she got that job.

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  3. I couldn't agree with you more. Every time I watch the show, I get hella pissed whenever she tries to sound like she knows what the fuck she's talking about. Its not that hard to see that EVERYTHING she says rehearsed, and coached. Not god damn thing she says is genuine. Oh, and how about when they make her look like she's doing some complex job that takes someone with a degree or "EXPERIENCE"? Anyone can tell that they just film her for a few seconds before the crew takes over and finishes it for her. Yet, she gets all the credit. I hate women like her. And the one thing that really grinds my gears is when she gets to do all the fun, manly stuff. Like when she cut down that tree with the machine gun... Wow that fuckin pissed me off!!! And as for Al Geo, a man that knows how to get laid by a girl is the one that doesn't get off by watching a dumb bitch like Kari giving her credit just for being attractive. Think about it... If a guy has no problem getting laid, then he's not gonna fuckin care if girl is hot or not on a show because he's getting is own personal show on the side. Everyone I know that gives a girl credit for everything just for being attractive is the kind of guy that's desperate, doesn't know how to spit game, and has no class, and most likely addicted to things like porn.

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  4. Haha, I was at the same point as you, searching through the internet, looking for other people that think she's annoying.

    I hope she get's replaced soon, because she takes a lot away from the great thing that is mythbuster

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  5. I was beginning to think that everyone loved her until I ran into this hilarious article. I agree with everyone here except Al Geo. Has anyone else noticed she bitches and complains constantly, even though she does nothing. Also when anything gets a little to difficult or disgusting for she quits or cries. I wish she would be fired by Jamie and Adam.

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  6. This woman is so annoying that I Googled "Mythbusters Kari annoying" to see if anyone else agreed. I have literally NEVER in my life done this for any character/presenter on a fiction or non-fiction show. I don't even understand why I hate her so much, it's visceral and hard to intellectualize, but I do and there is no fighting it. I have no idea why a girl being "hot" (I'd argue hot here for the alternative "not fan or odd looking" which doesn't make you "hot") is looked at as a positive on a show like this anyway. Guys don't want attractive girls to build things or run experiments anyway, or at least it doesn't make her attractive. Seriously, if you are so desperate that a show about science needs a semi-decent ginger just to get you through it, maybe you should switch over to Access Hollywood or just go straight to porn.

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  7. I agree. Mythbusters is still my favorite show in spite of her though. She obviously is only on the show for eye candy, she has nothing to contribute other than her body. She poses for the camera in every episode. Someone needs to educate her about vegetarianism also, it's not a healthy lifestyle. Humans need meat. It's obvious she doesn't really work in the shop either, I find it hard to believe Jaime would allow someone to do shop work wearing hoop earings and their hair down. I'd much rather see one of the female mythterns in the show. They're hotter and smarter. I really liked Christine, Scotty and Jess. Its true, Kari takes away from my overall enjoyment of the show, and I don't consider her a Mythbuster. The Mythbusters are Jaime, Adam, Grant and Tori.

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  8. I am extremely tired to see her dumb face. We need to get her kicked from this sweet show.

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  9. So glad I found this article. Thought I would just find endless praise and feminist backlash but thank God. As stated above I too have a visceral hate for Kari. She literally got the job by bugging. When I was 16 bugging was a way to get work. It showed determination and work ethic buy I was a young man with no experience. As a film crew professional I have had to deal with a lot of karis. PAs and lighting techs who literally cried their way into the crew while I had to intern on sets and work 16 hour days constantly for the shit at big feature films.

    Also. If your going to get sex appeal on the show lets ramp it up a bit more than Kari. She is marginally attractive at best. She's one of those girls you could see yourself sleeping with, maybe, until she starts talking then whatever little interest you had evaporates.

    If I could ask jaimie and Adam one thing about her it would be this. "Could you give a myth to Kari and expect her to design build and deploy whatever was needed to test the myth. On her own? And then the same question about grant or Tori. I think we all know what answer they would begrudgenly have to give.

    Get Christine and scotty to handle the sex appeal needs if there even is a need and turf the poser Kari.

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  10. So glad I found this article. Thought I would just find endless praise and feminist backlash but thank God. As stated above I too have a visceral hate for Kari. She literally got the job by bugging. When I was 16 bugging was a way to get work. It showed determination and work ethic buy I was a young man with no experience. As a film crew professional I have had to deal with a lot of karis. PAs and lighting techs who literally cried their way into the crew while I had to intern on sets and work 16 hour days constantly for the shit at big feature films.

    Also. If your going to get sex appeal on the show lets ramp it up a bit more than Kari. She is marginally attractive at best. She's one of those girls you could see yourself sleeping with, maybe, until she starts talking then whatever little interest you had evaporates.

    If I could ask jaimie and Adam one thing about her it would be this. "Could you give a myth to Kari and expect her to design build and deploy whatever was needed to test the myth. On her own? And then the same question about grant or Tori. I think we all know what answer they would begrudgenly have to give.

    Get Christine and scotty to handle the sex appeal needs if there even is a need and turf the poser Kari.

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  11. I bet the last comment was made by kari Byron herself

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  12. This is what you decided to whine about? A woman who got to shoot guns and blow sit up because he was at the right place at the right time. Some would say your just jealous like most everyone that has commented on your little book there, but no. That is not jealousy you sir are quite obsessed to a point were you need to be evaluated by a professional. You are literally so angry with a person you have never met because she has a good life and you feel she is unqualified to do so the genius hosts you so called seemed to deem her fit to be there.

    It really upset me that you talked about someone you don't even know like that, that being the whole reason for me writing this. You are a child a worthless human being and a waste of life. Talking so badly about someone who will never be able to defend the self is a truly cowardly move. Instead of hiding here and talking behind her back how about you try and voice yourself I'm sure if you tried you could talk with her then say all of that filth or just be coward and stay here.

    Don't worry me and everyone else already know what you'll do. Worthless cowards like yourself all ways do the samething. You'll comment back try to Hamer me, make fun of my spelling or lack of proper use of punctuations. Go ahead it just prove what everyone already knows about you.

    Last thing little kid, if you seriously believe the commenter before mine was Kari you are even more deluded than I had believe you can rest assured your invisible to her.

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  13. @Kool68iou1 - the problem is: she has no science credentials to be on a science show, she only got the job because of her looks. and that's wrong for multiple reasons 1) it's demeaning towards women in general. to the young girls who are watching the show it conveys the message "you don't have to study or learn anything, that's for boys. for you your looks are your best asset" 2) reinforces the stereotype that looking good will get you everything 3) sheds bad light on the show for suspicious hiring practices

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  14. Agreed from start to finish... so glad she got fired, she even had the gall to take a swipe on twitter at her getting axed, Grant and Tori both praised their former job in tweets, but Kari just had a passive aggressive swipe, like 10 fucking years getting paid for doing fuck all wasn't enough!? ungrateful untalented bitch.

    And that's the truth, what could she do? why was she even hired? everyone had qualifications to be there, NOT this dimbo, she was there to pander to feminists (which she herself proudly claims to be) and nerds to drool over, she literally only got the job due to nagging and her ass, literally her ass for that toilet myth.

    Everything remotely intelligent she said was obviously on a teleprompter she read off of, all the real work was done by grant and tori, never seen her build anything herself, yet she LOVED taking credit for others work, always made it sound like she built everything equally with the guys... does anyone recall anything she built herself? Tori did loads of complicated builds, by himself, grant built a million robots, by himself, kari built... some clay toys and put stickers or spray paint on things occasionally, name me one complex build she did or could do by herself?... yeah, no. Nobody could honestly say she could be given a complex or even moderate difficulty build to do 100% herself from start to finish with no help and do it right, not a god damn chance, she had no fucking right to be on that great show.

    Remember when she was apparently being taught by grant to be adept at all things electrical etc as his apprentice or whatever?, so he didnt have to be the only one good at it.. yeah, what happened? clearly she was too dumb, never seen her do anything in relation to that again after that one scene, bet grant just got sick of her and gave up.

    Remember when she lost that lie detector test and had to take a bus home (oh woes me how will she cope not in first class..), did she take one for the team and accept her failure like a professional or humour? Tori did, but nope, she got shitty with the producer and whined about it, like a fuckin child.

    Remember when tori and grant had to deal with terrible fears for the cold feet myth, they took a lot of punishment for that (insane plane rides, spiders all over his face), kari, she ate 2 tiny bugs... wow, respect to her...

    Remember every other hard myth like chilli cures or hangover myths among other hard ones, she always found a way out just to be the judge and never take part... fuckin copped out as always. And anything remotely hard she'd clearly get the shits and not take it like a professional, god knows how much bitching went on off camera.

    And then theres her image, dressed like a complete idiot most of the time, like some 40yo desperately hanging onto being an attractive teenager, what workplace seriously lets someone dress like she did if they were actually working around that machinery? yeah, none, proves she didnt REALLY work there. And those god damn teeth... look like she installed a toilet bowl in her mouth they are that fake, could not stand her SMILING 24FUCKING7 either, and her ridiculous hand movements all the time when speaking like shes a retarded mine.

    She also chose a job where there would be animal carcasses and other similar stuff involved, which she straight up refused to do or just gagged like a child a lot... so professional, most people would be fired for less, yet she takes a job she cant even stomach, why fucking choose that job then?! oh yeah, for the money.

    Funny how when she got more famous she never interacted with any of the other women on camera, was she afraid we'd like them more? (even scotty stated she didnt like her) even when she finally left due to being knocked up she didnt even have the professionalism to welcome Jessi combs personally on camera, or to farewell her, was all off camera if at all, Jessi kicked ass and worked her ass off and they showed that all the.. ~cont.1/2~

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  15. (2/2)...time, she actually HAD SKILLS and qualifications to be on the show, I guarantee Kari seen her as a threat, probably undermined her and all the other females behind the scenes just to keep her job.

    And speaking of that, what the hell kind of responsible person does what kari did while pregnant?, she was literally wearing bulletproof vests over her pregnant belly firing guns in crazy ways around an unborn child that could of easily gone wrong, she was around explosions and endless other hazards, I guess her job meant more to her than any potential accident killing her baby, god only knows how the hell they got insurance accepted to let her do half of what she did pregnant, insane and selfish idiot she was.

    If you broke down into percentages how much work everyone did, she would EASILY be at the bottom of that list, maybe 5%, yet I bet she got paid the same if not more than Tori/Grant.

    Even the reunion special was an insult to bring back this talentless cow and leave out the real workers like Scotty, Jessi/Jessie, Kristine, who you know, actually worked on the show, bet she had a hand in keeping them off the reunion.

    So Kari if you're reading this, good riddance, you were a shit stain on an otherwise great show, your "talents" will take you nowhere, as evident by terrible reviews of your failed projects after mythbusters, which you only got by association to greater people like Tori & Grant, or whoever you sucked off in the discovery offices to get hired, enjoy your midlife crisis and being forgotten. It's all you deserve you talentless dumb leech.

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  16. They could have even hired someone like Jessica Simpson to do her tasks

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  17. They could have even hired someone like Jessica Simpson to do her tasks

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  18. Hi there. It's been almost 10 years since you wrote this post. You're probably in a totally different place in your life and have grown and changed in that time. I'm just wondering how you feel now about all the time and effort you put into this post. Does it seem sort of weird and embarrassing in hindsight that you put all that time and research into a host of a tv show? Because look at it, you put in a lot of work. Like how would you feel if people currently in your life knew you wrote this? Would you cringe a little or are you still genuinely angry about such an insignificant thing? Thanks!

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  19. Kari Byron makes a mockery of female scientists. Her contributions to the show could easily be covered by the narrator.

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  20. I love to watch her she has a wonderful personality. Which adds to the show. I would much ratger enjoy watching her beautiful body than some geeky rocket scientist that has a fat ass and bigger belly roll than her bust.

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    1. She looks like a girl I dated about ten years ago. She broke up with me because I am not religious. She lived with a religious guy that beat her up.

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  21. She is hot. It is a TV show chill out you will live longer.

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  22. Lmao! So true! I bet you she's all against sexism and yet only got her gig because she was hot. Annoying? Yes. But I'd still lick her butthole.

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