Mythbust Kari Out of a Job

FUCKING ANNOYING

The bitch you see before you is Kari Byron from the awesome show Mythbusters. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize what this show is about-it takes myths and urban legends and puts them to the test to see if there is any accuracy in the tale. It is run by two hosts by the names of Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman, both of whom boast an impressive resume of many years working with movie special effects. To help them out, Jamie and Adam have three co-hosts that help build the materials and formulate theories about how to test the myths. They are Grant Imahara, Tory Belleci, and regrettably, Kari Byron.

Grant and Tory are excellent co-hosts for the show due to their prowess with engineering and science. Grant was an electrical science major that went on to do some remarkable work for a movie special effects company called Industrial Light and Magic. While at this company he worked on movies such as Jurassic Park and the Star Wars prequels, the latter involving a fleet of R2 D2s. Grant also was involved with BattleBots, designing his own robot with an impeccable battle record. Not to be out shined, Tory Belleci also has done some credible work before being involved with Mythbusters. Like Grant, he also has backround in movie special effects, working at George Lucas' Industrial Light and Magic, with a resume including films like the Matrix, and some of the ships in the fleet of the Star Wars prequels. With these credentials, one may think that you would have to somewhat competent in the field of science and engineering to work on Mythbusters. Well, that is not the case...for we have Kari Byron.

Kari Byron has to be one of the most irritating people on television, and with the crap that we have on the channels these days that quite an accomplishment. To have a sweet job on mythbusters Kari's resume must include some proper credentials required to be on a science based reality show. The sad news is no, she does not have an impressive resume at all. She is a self proclaimed "artist", meaning that she has no job and has no capacity to do anything constructive. Also, what is this self-proclaimed bullshit? Just because you give yourself a title doesn't make it true. I can be a self-proclaimed astronaut, but that doesn't make me one. Just for the benefit of any doubt, I went searching to see if any of her art is online, just for the small chance she is accomplishing at least something. What i found was grotesque and will haunt my dreams.

I went to her web page, but could not save any of her artwork to include here, but I bid you to look at the web page yourself. http://www.karibyron.com/ Her "art" looks like something out of a Vincent Price movie. Art is Michelangelo's "David" or Jacques-Louis David's "Napoleon Crossing the Alps". Taking off parts of dolls and splicing them together in some obscene manner is not art, it's a cry for help. Her creations can scare little children, not to say 24 year old men for that matter. I've seen scrap book drawings from serial killers that look more sane and innocent. Vlad the Impaler called, he wants his children's toys back.

I wanted to find out if she has done anything while in college that warrants any resemblance of creativity or some intelligence, for I create better works of art in my toilet after All-You-Can-Eat Rib Night at the Painted Horse restaurant. Not surprisingly, I found nothing. She went to San Francisco State University and studied film and sculpture. Whoop te fucking do. To graduate from her major you need the intellect of dog shit. I took a film class in college, just to see how easy it was. All students had to do was watch movies in class and give their opinion about it. Anyone could pull bullshit out of their ass and the instructor would act like you had a plan for peace in the Middle East or re-invented Democracy. As for sculpting, all you had to do was make an ashtray and you got your degree. That is such bullshit. Any dumbass can do that shit. These film and sculpting students aren't the Platos and Da Vincis they think they are. Just because you got a degree from a university doesn't mean you earned it.

After gagging from the amount of horseshit spewing from her academic career, I went to see what job she got after college to make her worthy of a job at M5 (Jamie and Adam's workshop). My search came up with nothing. Literally. She did nothing. She went backpacking around south Asia. People who have no jobs and backpack around a country have a name, they are called hobos. If you went backpacking around the U.S. you'd be called a bum, just because you are doing it outside our country's boarders doesn't make it more noble. She should have saved her parent's money and not gone to Asia. She could have hopped the freight rails here, sharing beans with fellow hobos and it would have been the same thing. I wish I could have been a hobo after college, but then again I have dignity and a sense of responsibility and got a job.

Again, I was hit in the face with the fist of disbelief. I had to know why she was hired at M5. I doesn't make sense to me. I thought one had to have a thing called qualifications to have a job, and to have an incredible job like M5, they must be pretty damn impressive. I was wrong. Apparently all you have to do, with exceptions for Grant and Tory, is to be annoying as fuck. I know quote as to why she got the job:

"She became involved in the show after persistently showing up at Hyneman's M5 Industries workshop in a desire to get hired at his company."

That's right folks. She got the job by doing what girls to best, nagging the fuck out of someone until they get their desired results. Now, I wouldn't be as pissed about all this if she actually did anything for the show. She doesn't. All she does is run around and act like a fucking adolescent. The only work she does is building boxes and molds for ballistics gel. She doesn't add anything to the show at all, in fact, she takes away. Everything she says in the form of opinion was already stated earlier in the episode by another mythbuster member. She fucking takes them and makes them her own. I also hate the way she squeals like a five year old whenever she sees a dead animal. STOP! It's not cute, and it's not funny. She says she hates dead animals because she is a vegetarian. Big fucking surprise. Don't push your agenda on the show you fascist bitch. Each time I watch an episode of Mythbusters my eyes hurt from constantly rolling them at whatever awkward thing Kari says or does. She is so useless. I also hate the way she gives the verdict of whether or not a myth is busted. She says it in a way like she has absolute authority over the decision as if she did all theorizing and experiments herself. She didn't do a damn thing, besides make stupid jokes and get in the way of Tory and Grant who are trying to do their jobs.
Am I the only one that feels this way about Kari? I searched to find out. Horrifyingly, the only posts I see on the Internet is that they love her and want to keep her on the show. Not surprised, for we live in a society that, for a lack of a better word, sucks. It is interesting to see that the only reason people like her and want her on the show is because she is attractive. Yep, even science shows are casting inept people for the way they look. If I want eye candy, I'll go to another show, not mythbusters. All you assholes out there that want Kari on mythbusters because she is hot can gargle diarrhea. The show needs people with knowledge of engineering and science, not bubbly redheads that look and act like some one from a high school cheerleading squad. Mythbusters seriously needs to get rid of her. She is annoying, completely inept, and a horrible host. I vote to replace her with Mythtern Jess Nelson. She is not knock out gorgeous, but she is very cute and is not as annoying. Also to her credit, she majored in mechanical engineering, which blows terrible artist Kari out of the water. Kari needs to stop scaring people with her art, annoying people with her presence, and face reality and finally get a real job. After a few years of that we'll see if she earned the right to be back on Mythbusters.